Selflessness

What is it to be selfless?
To give your all without asking for anything in return?
I think the epitome of being selfless, is to seem selfish, such that these seemingly selfish actions benefit those around you. And they have no idea that you're doing it for them, so they don't have to carry the burden of repaying the deed. That's being selfless.
I hate accepting help from people unless absolutely necessary. Like project work and stuff.
I didn't mind when I was younger. Much younger. I thought it was okay if I reciprocate back kindness.
Then I learned that some people just have a motive behind everything they do.
It's sad that they always have to watch their back.
And they use this favour that they've done for you as a trump card against you.
Because they know how to target your conscience.
And you can't target theirs...
Because they do not have a conscience.
That's why, it's always better to die fighting alone, then make horrible choices due to a debt.
And one should always help without asking for anything in return.
Nothing needs to be reciprocated. There's no law governing it.
If you expect something in return, you should be signing a contract.
Then again, even a contract can be broken. No investment can get a 100% return.
I'm slowly back on talking terms with him. Maybe, just mono-syllabic words.
And he's offering all sorts of things he can help with. GP practice, or buying aikido stuff.
I don't like being dependent on such a person.
I don't care if he's changing for the better.
It's only on the outside.
There's a hidden motive behind everything he does. And it stays that way.
And he can't change the past.
Let's wait for the future to play out.

-loneshadows