I don't really know whether to be happy or not. School is finally going to open. I don't have to stay at home and wince whenever I look at my homework. But I still gotta finish it anyway. Homework just takes your mind off things. I never thought studying could be a way to relax and block of the rest of the world. Sitting down to read a book is heaven. or haven. dunno haha...
My bro just keep critisicing everything about canoeing... im not sure. i think im starting to get scared. afraid he will give me another punch like last time. which hurt every training. im not sure if it hurts now but i just tell myself it recovered. thats the problem when you use your mind to control yourself too much. you wont even notice there is a problem. it will be like there is an anti virus system telling yourself to shut off the pain, not dealing with it properly....
Tomorrow is the WDBRC timetrial... i hate it how singapore rarely gets 1st and stuff. how ppl think its the norm and they don't do a thing. i don't like norms. but i respect them. weird...
What will you do when you have a sickly mum, a brother who you just can't decide is good or bad, and a dad who doesnt really care about the family? run away? its still a ''loving'' family...
till next time
Michelle
(im like having an internal eternal battle with myself.)
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